The Rules of Attraction

To figure out how we pick mates, scientists have measured every shape and angle of the human face, studied the symmetry of dancers, crafted formulas from the measurements of Playboy models, and had both men and women rank attractiveness based on smelling armpit sweat. After all this and more, the rules of attraction for the human species are still not clearly understood. How it all factors into true love is even more mysterious.

The Way How He Eats Can Characterize Him

A date is like a job interview with extra booze and a bill at the end. There's so much to get right, and so much think about. Does he like you? Do you like him? Should you have the lobster, or will he ask you to go halves? If you really want to know what he's like, stop thinking and start watching what he's doing with that pasta. Here are 18 ways to spot his personality on a plate.

Relationship Issues - How to Make Your Relationship Last - Love With an Older Woman

The older woman and younger man relationship has always been the object of jokes, with men being labeled boytoys or worse for getting involved with an older lover. It is always been acceptable, in some cultures, even admired, for older men to romance young women, but the reverse has never been as readily acceptable.

In the 1950's, for example, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were perhaps the most beloved couple in America, yet they felt that the seven-year difference between the older Lucy and the younger Desi wouldn't be accepted by the public.

Their solution? They both lied about their ages, splitting the difference and saying they were born the same year.

In recent years, the term "cougar" has been coined for a particular kind of successful older woman. Celebrity relationships between actors like Demi Moore and the much younger Ashton Kutcher give the "cougar-cub" relationship a certain scandalous appeal.

Twenty-something men with a preference for older women style themselves as "cougar hunters," and meet older women at bars that, according to one article in the Los Angeles Times, are called "dens."

So let's say you meet and successfully woo a woman ten years older than you - or more. What can you expect from the relationship? What are the dangers and drawbacks of such a relationship? Most important, how can I make sure the relationship lasts?

1. Make sure the two of you are well-matched in passions.

Not just in bed, either. Do you have a similar zest for life? If one of you is a couch potato and the other likes to get out of the house to hike, bike and socialize, it's never going to work. One of the biggest reasons that older women date younger men is because they've found that men their own age have lost their sense of fun and adventure. If she needs someone to have long talks with and you're not interested in discussing your feelings, it's not going to last.

2. Be prepared to deal with disapproval.

Most people are not aware of how narrow and judgmental their views are, but many people just are not open to anything that is counter to the accepted status quo. The relationship standard is to date and marry someone within two of three years of our age, and if there's a big discrepancy, people find reasons to disapprove.

Do not allow yourself to have a thin skin about it - get used to good-natured ribbing from friends, and be prepared for curious (or even hostile) looks from strangers. Remember that your relationship is nobody's business but your own - and that they're all probably secretly jealous!

3. Deal with jealousy in a light-hearted manner.

Women can be very insecure about their appearance and, while they do gain confidence as they age, your older woman may be a little sensitive about her diminishing youth. She may occasionally feel threatened by younger women you work with or meet socially - and you may find yourself worried about her leaving you for an older, more successful man!

The best way to deal with jealousy is to just acknowledge that you are both attractive, you are both going to meet interesting, good-looking people, and that the important thing is that you have chosen to be together. It is far better to laugh about someone flirting with your partner than to get angry - for one thing, it signifies that you have caught someone worth catching.

4. Don't let money issues drive you apart.

If she is a decade older than you are and successful in her career, odds are good that she makes more money, drives a nicer car, and lives in a better home than you do. Accept this for what it is - just the circumstance of your different ages - and do not let it be an issue.

She obviously does not think less of you for having a smaller bank account, because if she did she would not be with you. Society has become much more forgiving of women paying the check in a restaurant or buying their partner clothes - just do NOT let yourself fall into the trap of believing you're somehow less of a man because she has a fatter wallet.

5. Be ready to look like a boytoy.

Most people will assume that the older woman had to have been the seducer in your relationship. But researchers have found that relationships between older women and younger men are almost always instigated by the man.

It may chafe a bit to have people believe that you're being used as a sex object - then again, maybe you'll find that flattering!

6. Don't allow cultural differences to get in the way.

You may have a lot in common, but you'll still find that the music she enjoyed in her youth was recorded, in many cases, before you were born. Don't turn up your nose - this is a great chance to learn something. Let her show you her favorite movies on DVD, and take you to restaurants to try foods you've never tried before.

Your older woman has a lot more life experience that you do, and can open you up to many exciting new experiences. And you can do the same for her, by sharing your favorite movies, music, TV shows and nightlife, showing her things she might otherwise overlook.

7. Enjoy your relationship, and stop worrying.

Experts say that young men who pursue older women tend to be more mature than their peers, and that their adventurous outlook brings a much-needed spark of life to an older woman's life.

Most committed relationships between older women and younger men last for a long, long time - much longer than relationships between young people of similar ages. So enjoy what you each bring to the relationship and do not worry about what others may think - what you've found is special, stable and built to last.

Do Men Like Romance?

Despite what many people think, there really is such a thing as romance for men. Most males of our species do appreciate romantic gestures. It's just that they enjoy different ones from women -- and you may be surprised by what they prefer.

Here's the inside scoop on what men find romantic:

Overrated: Love letters

Underrated: Romantic texts
If a guy sits down to write you an actual love letter, he's doing it to impress you. If he sends you a text out of nowhere telling you he's thinking about you, he's doing it because he can't help himself.

Overrated: Picnics

Underrated: Cookouts
Eating outside is great. But when given a choice between obtaining their food from an adorable basket or from a flaming stove, guys will always pick the stove.

Overrated: The smell of your perfume

Underrated: The smell of your hair
There's nothing wrong with the subtle application of the right perfume, but catching a whiff of that clean-yet-flowery girl-hair smell beats any fragrance.

Overrated: Humoring him by watching the game

Underrated: Doing your own thing while he watches the game
If you truly enjoy gorging on pop corn while watching sports, that's great. But if you're doing it solely for his sake, there's no need to bother -- he knows that you're a girl. And he likes that.

Overrated: Valentine's Day roses

Underrated: Flowers on a random day
V-Day roses require less than no imagination. But surprising you with flowers on a meaningless Tuesday is a sign that he doesn't need greeting-card companies to tell him when to show you how much he cares.

Overrated: Make-up physical intimacy

Underrated: Not fighting in the first place
He hates arguing with you almost as much as he loves physical intimacy with you. So the make-up isn't even close to being worth the excruciating pain of the fight that precedes it.

Overrated: Discussing your future house

Underrated: Discussing your future vacation
Contrary to popular belief, single men aren't afraid to discuss or envision a future together. It's just that they prefer to focus on certain aspects (relaxing on a beach) rather than others (grouting bathroom tile).

Overrated: Double dates

Underrated: Going to parties together
Double dates are often a little awkward. Seeing an entire party's worth of guys look jealous when he walks in with you is always totally awesome.

Women & Bisexuality

The concept of two women making love with their soft, sweaty bodies pressed against each other has been proven by numerous surveys to be the most popular male fantasy. Same-sex fantasies are common with men and women, but they don’t define a person’s sexuality. Well, that is according to some experts.

Schools of thought

Nothing definitive has been reached by psychoanalysts discussing the origins of homosexuality or bisexuality. Unfortunately, studies are often unpublished or too overstated to bend in favor of the opinions of the analysts involved -- and this has been going on for years. The scientific community’s inability to find a “gay gene” has slightly narrowed the sexuality focus and has led to the question: Are we hardwired from birth or do we choose our sexuality? Research conducted by the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) points to a bit of both. All in all, the research is very inconclusive, which leaves us with the less straightforward issue at hand: women and bisexuality.

WHO’S DOING IT?

The demographics tell us a lot. There are three vague groups based solely on age, which is simply indicative of the overall stages of maturity and life experience.
Young women
The first group is between 20 and 35, and the women in this category are far more inclined to be with another woman for the sheer pleasure and experience of it. Sure, they might be excited with the knowledge that they are turning a guy on somewhere in the world, but these women are probably enjoying it. They are more sexually aware of themselves and of others around them, invoking curiosity and a genuine desire to experiment with sensations and their sexuality.

Older women

Women older than 35, sometimes referred to as cougars, have often been married and divorced and may have teenage or grown children. They may have become disillusioned with men due to a distasteful experience, and are now seeking the emotional connection that has been absent from their relationships with men. Though there is a greater tendency for this group of women to jump the fence and become full-on lesbians, they will most likely show an interest in men again once their emotional needs have been filled. Many women will temporarily swap sides to engage in a fully lesbian relationship, and they may seesaw from women to men throughout their lives. This has become a noticeable trend among baby boomers.
Teenage girls
The last group of wannabes is the female population that inhabits high school and college campuses. They are young (between the ages of 14 and 19), impressionable and keen to impress. Internet porn, the Madonna and Britney kiss, Sex and the City, and American Pie have all directly contributed to the new norm of girls kissing girls. The kissing girls are typically straight and everyone knows it. Actually, being straight is one of the rules of engagement, since the girls in this group wouldn’t dream of kissing a real lesbian or bisexual girl, which would be too weird. It’s strictly kissing only -- anything more than a little tongue is unnecessary and undesirable.

Essentially, these girls are emulating a sexual activity simply to attract a guy to go home with that night. It is all for show and they’re finding no actual sexual pleasure in it. Unfortunately, being sexually manipulative means these girls believe they are powerful and provocative, when in reality it’s just a means to an end.

Problems in a Relationship

Numerous reasons could be cited which lead to misunderstanding between individual in a relationship. It could be monetary, emotional or even physical. One could look at the misunderstandings from two perspectives- male and female.

Male perspective
Several reasons could be attributed by the man in the relationship, some of them could be:

Adequate communication

It is considered that women's behavior is more emotional than men's. Although it would be fair to say that even the most emotional women are sometimes simply not quite self-confident. Men hardly use the female language of emotions and for them learning a Latin or Greek would be easier to learn as compared to the former. This gap in communication provokes most of acute problems and conflicts.

Lack of understanding

To bridge the communication gap that sets in individuals, it is important for the man to gain some understanding of emotions. Maybe women at times use an emotional approach to communicate which is misunderstood by men as encroachment. So if a man wants to become proficient in emotional aspect, it is important to learn to understand your feelings.

Blaming each other

Many a times, men think that women are encroaching too much by grazing some emotional aspect. Though the woman might be trying to make them comfortable, it could be misinterpreted! This could result in the two individuals blaming each other.

Being compassionate

Expressing compassion resolves a great deal of miscommunication. At time it becomes imperative for men to shed their rationalistic thinking and get into the shoes of a woman! That mean. They need to be more patient and lend an ear to their partner's maladies irrespective how trivial it may be.

Female perspective
A man is not as bad as you think!

The emotional communication of men differs from women as a result women need to realize that they might not get the same degree of intimacy from men when it comes to talking.

Let him boast

Women should take men boating about their success at workplace or other things in their stride. Women generally perceive boasting as a sign of egoistic male nature while in reality it might not be the case! That is why you should take this character trait as a matter of course.

Give him his space

Men always need more space, than women do. Women might find this to be dictatorial in nature. Women should remember that when a man interferes into your private space he is bound by his habit of exercising a certain degree of authority.

Money related issues
Money related issues crop up when there exist some form of imbalance between the two individuals. This could also be augmented by ego and lack of communication. Issues which go unnoticed acquire gargantuan stature once marriage happens. Some of the situations could be:

Difference in priorities

One's choice of a house could be negated with another's choice of a holiday

Possessiveness towards income

If the individuals become conscious of who is earning and how much then that could lead to ripples in the relationship. Prudence is good but understanding is more.