No Need to Prove You Love

Deciding to give up alcohol, or take up smoking, is a lifestyle choice. So too is the decision to become vegetarian, move to the seaside or cycle to work.

But when flicking through a glossy catalogue to peruse the various "lifestyle choices" available, you're unlikely to stumble upon the option of being gay.

An individual's sexuality is not an interest-free, buy-now-pay-later commodity. To airily dismiss it as a mere "lifestyle choice" is not only patronising but plain old intolerance disguised as commonsense.

Safer Sex Better Sleep

Before you even think of getting those naughty bits and pieces into your mouths and consider rubbing your hot bodies together, it is a good thinking to ask yourself where these bits and pieces have been before. This is all about that thing we call “safe sex.” Although there is no absolute safe sex, it is still better than not having anything at all as we have to constantly seek protection not only from unwanted pregnancy but also from all the dreaded sexually transmitted diseases. In its proper context, safer sex is all about informed sexual options. This refers to knowing all the facts about safer sex so that we are able to make the best decision every time we engage in a sexual act.

How to Improve Your Sex Life

When a couple first start dating sex is fun, new and exciting. In the first few months, couples seem to have lots of passionate and unexpected sex. Over time as a couple settle into a relationship, the sex usually dwindles down into a routine therefore the passion of unexpected sex dwindles too. Every relationship requires work and couples should set some special time for each other to keep their relationship strong and stable. There are some simple and helpful tips on keeping your sex life passionate and fun. Men Women can easily improve their love life with some new lingerie garments. Men get easily turned on with some sexy lingerie.

Main Secrets to a Harmonious Marriage

Truth, Caring, Mutual respect are what I call my three Cardinal Principles of happy marriages. Please notice that I am not using the word ‘love’. Love comes out of these three things. What is called love is usually physical desire. The shape or size of someone’s body is not the inspiration for love; it can be the inspiration for infatuation and lust but not love.

The Love Character

Love. This simple 4 letter word can describe and enhance everything in our lives. I love my spouse, I love my significant other, I love my pets, I love my sleep, the list can be endless. The word is usually just said to amplify a description of something we feel strongly for. We at times over use the word and become desensitized to it and fail to grasp what it totally is.

Do You Love Two People at Once

It is possible to love two people at the same time. Of course, we all do if you count family love and friendship love. But, romantic love is a much stickier situation. If you find yourself in a situation where you have fallen in love with two people at the same time, you are not alone. It happens and there seems to be no way to make it not happen. The only choice that we have is our response to it and where we allow it to go.

The Rules of Attraction

To figure out how we pick mates, scientists have measured every shape and angle of the human face, studied the symmetry of dancers, crafted formulas from the measurements of Playboy models, and had both men and women rank attractiveness based on smelling armpit sweat. After all this and more, the rules of attraction for the human species are still not clearly understood. How it all factors into true love is even more mysterious.

The Way How He Eats Can Characterize Him

A date is like a job interview with extra booze and a bill at the end. There's so much to get right, and so much think about. Does he like you? Do you like him? Should you have the lobster, or will he ask you to go halves? If you really want to know what he's like, stop thinking and start watching what he's doing with that pasta. Here are 18 ways to spot his personality on a plate.

Relationship Issues - How to Make Your Relationship Last - Love With an Older Woman

The older woman and younger man relationship has always been the object of jokes, with men being labeled boytoys or worse for getting involved with an older lover. It is always been acceptable, in some cultures, even admired, for older men to romance young women, but the reverse has never been as readily acceptable.

In the 1950's, for example, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were perhaps the most beloved couple in America, yet they felt that the seven-year difference between the older Lucy and the younger Desi wouldn't be accepted by the public.

Their solution? They both lied about their ages, splitting the difference and saying they were born the same year.

In recent years, the term "cougar" has been coined for a particular kind of successful older woman. Celebrity relationships between actors like Demi Moore and the much younger Ashton Kutcher give the "cougar-cub" relationship a certain scandalous appeal.

Twenty-something men with a preference for older women style themselves as "cougar hunters," and meet older women at bars that, according to one article in the Los Angeles Times, are called "dens."

So let's say you meet and successfully woo a woman ten years older than you - or more. What can you expect from the relationship? What are the dangers and drawbacks of such a relationship? Most important, how can I make sure the relationship lasts?

1. Make sure the two of you are well-matched in passions.

Not just in bed, either. Do you have a similar zest for life? If one of you is a couch potato and the other likes to get out of the house to hike, bike and socialize, it's never going to work. One of the biggest reasons that older women date younger men is because they've found that men their own age have lost their sense of fun and adventure. If she needs someone to have long talks with and you're not interested in discussing your feelings, it's not going to last.

2. Be prepared to deal with disapproval.

Most people are not aware of how narrow and judgmental their views are, but many people just are not open to anything that is counter to the accepted status quo. The relationship standard is to date and marry someone within two of three years of our age, and if there's a big discrepancy, people find reasons to disapprove.

Do not allow yourself to have a thin skin about it - get used to good-natured ribbing from friends, and be prepared for curious (or even hostile) looks from strangers. Remember that your relationship is nobody's business but your own - and that they're all probably secretly jealous!

3. Deal with jealousy in a light-hearted manner.

Women can be very insecure about their appearance and, while they do gain confidence as they age, your older woman may be a little sensitive about her diminishing youth. She may occasionally feel threatened by younger women you work with or meet socially - and you may find yourself worried about her leaving you for an older, more successful man!

The best way to deal with jealousy is to just acknowledge that you are both attractive, you are both going to meet interesting, good-looking people, and that the important thing is that you have chosen to be together. It is far better to laugh about someone flirting with your partner than to get angry - for one thing, it signifies that you have caught someone worth catching.

4. Don't let money issues drive you apart.

If she is a decade older than you are and successful in her career, odds are good that she makes more money, drives a nicer car, and lives in a better home than you do. Accept this for what it is - just the circumstance of your different ages - and do not let it be an issue.

She obviously does not think less of you for having a smaller bank account, because if she did she would not be with you. Society has become much more forgiving of women paying the check in a restaurant or buying their partner clothes - just do NOT let yourself fall into the trap of believing you're somehow less of a man because she has a fatter wallet.

5. Be ready to look like a boytoy.

Most people will assume that the older woman had to have been the seducer in your relationship. But researchers have found that relationships between older women and younger men are almost always instigated by the man.

It may chafe a bit to have people believe that you're being used as a sex object - then again, maybe you'll find that flattering!

6. Don't allow cultural differences to get in the way.

You may have a lot in common, but you'll still find that the music she enjoyed in her youth was recorded, in many cases, before you were born. Don't turn up your nose - this is a great chance to learn something. Let her show you her favorite movies on DVD, and take you to restaurants to try foods you've never tried before.

Your older woman has a lot more life experience that you do, and can open you up to many exciting new experiences. And you can do the same for her, by sharing your favorite movies, music, TV shows and nightlife, showing her things she might otherwise overlook.

7. Enjoy your relationship, and stop worrying.

Experts say that young men who pursue older women tend to be more mature than their peers, and that their adventurous outlook brings a much-needed spark of life to an older woman's life.

Most committed relationships between older women and younger men last for a long, long time - much longer than relationships between young people of similar ages. So enjoy what you each bring to the relationship and do not worry about what others may think - what you've found is special, stable and built to last.

Do Men Like Romance?

Despite what many people think, there really is such a thing as romance for men. Most males of our species do appreciate romantic gestures. It's just that they enjoy different ones from women -- and you may be surprised by what they prefer.

Here's the inside scoop on what men find romantic:

Overrated: Love letters

Underrated: Romantic texts
If a guy sits down to write you an actual love letter, he's doing it to impress you. If he sends you a text out of nowhere telling you he's thinking about you, he's doing it because he can't help himself.

Overrated: Picnics

Underrated: Cookouts
Eating outside is great. But when given a choice between obtaining their food from an adorable basket or from a flaming stove, guys will always pick the stove.

Overrated: The smell of your perfume

Underrated: The smell of your hair
There's nothing wrong with the subtle application of the right perfume, but catching a whiff of that clean-yet-flowery girl-hair smell beats any fragrance.

Overrated: Humoring him by watching the game

Underrated: Doing your own thing while he watches the game
If you truly enjoy gorging on pop corn while watching sports, that's great. But if you're doing it solely for his sake, there's no need to bother -- he knows that you're a girl. And he likes that.

Overrated: Valentine's Day roses

Underrated: Flowers on a random day
V-Day roses require less than no imagination. But surprising you with flowers on a meaningless Tuesday is a sign that he doesn't need greeting-card companies to tell him when to show you how much he cares.

Overrated: Make-up physical intimacy

Underrated: Not fighting in the first place
He hates arguing with you almost as much as he loves physical intimacy with you. So the make-up isn't even close to being worth the excruciating pain of the fight that precedes it.

Overrated: Discussing your future house

Underrated: Discussing your future vacation
Contrary to popular belief, single men aren't afraid to discuss or envision a future together. It's just that they prefer to focus on certain aspects (relaxing on a beach) rather than others (grouting bathroom tile).

Overrated: Double dates

Underrated: Going to parties together
Double dates are often a little awkward. Seeing an entire party's worth of guys look jealous when he walks in with you is always totally awesome.

Women & Bisexuality

The concept of two women making love with their soft, sweaty bodies pressed against each other has been proven by numerous surveys to be the most popular male fantasy. Same-sex fantasies are common with men and women, but they don’t define a person’s sexuality. Well, that is according to some experts.

Schools of thought

Nothing definitive has been reached by psychoanalysts discussing the origins of homosexuality or bisexuality. Unfortunately, studies are often unpublished or too overstated to bend in favor of the opinions of the analysts involved -- and this has been going on for years. The scientific community’s inability to find a “gay gene” has slightly narrowed the sexuality focus and has led to the question: Are we hardwired from birth or do we choose our sexuality? Research conducted by the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) points to a bit of both. All in all, the research is very inconclusive, which leaves us with the less straightforward issue at hand: women and bisexuality.

WHO’S DOING IT?

The demographics tell us a lot. There are three vague groups based solely on age, which is simply indicative of the overall stages of maturity and life experience.
Young women
The first group is between 20 and 35, and the women in this category are far more inclined to be with another woman for the sheer pleasure and experience of it. Sure, they might be excited with the knowledge that they are turning a guy on somewhere in the world, but these women are probably enjoying it. They are more sexually aware of themselves and of others around them, invoking curiosity and a genuine desire to experiment with sensations and their sexuality.

Older women

Women older than 35, sometimes referred to as cougars, have often been married and divorced and may have teenage or grown children. They may have become disillusioned with men due to a distasteful experience, and are now seeking the emotional connection that has been absent from their relationships with men. Though there is a greater tendency for this group of women to jump the fence and become full-on lesbians, they will most likely show an interest in men again once their emotional needs have been filled. Many women will temporarily swap sides to engage in a fully lesbian relationship, and they may seesaw from women to men throughout their lives. This has become a noticeable trend among baby boomers.
Teenage girls
The last group of wannabes is the female population that inhabits high school and college campuses. They are young (between the ages of 14 and 19), impressionable and keen to impress. Internet porn, the Madonna and Britney kiss, Sex and the City, and American Pie have all directly contributed to the new norm of girls kissing girls. The kissing girls are typically straight and everyone knows it. Actually, being straight is one of the rules of engagement, since the girls in this group wouldn’t dream of kissing a real lesbian or bisexual girl, which would be too weird. It’s strictly kissing only -- anything more than a little tongue is unnecessary and undesirable.

Essentially, these girls are emulating a sexual activity simply to attract a guy to go home with that night. It is all for show and they’re finding no actual sexual pleasure in it. Unfortunately, being sexually manipulative means these girls believe they are powerful and provocative, when in reality it’s just a means to an end.

Problems in a Relationship

Numerous reasons could be cited which lead to misunderstanding between individual in a relationship. It could be monetary, emotional or even physical. One could look at the misunderstandings from two perspectives- male and female.

Male perspective
Several reasons could be attributed by the man in the relationship, some of them could be:

Adequate communication

It is considered that women's behavior is more emotional than men's. Although it would be fair to say that even the most emotional women are sometimes simply not quite self-confident. Men hardly use the female language of emotions and for them learning a Latin or Greek would be easier to learn as compared to the former. This gap in communication provokes most of acute problems and conflicts.

Lack of understanding

To bridge the communication gap that sets in individuals, it is important for the man to gain some understanding of emotions. Maybe women at times use an emotional approach to communicate which is misunderstood by men as encroachment. So if a man wants to become proficient in emotional aspect, it is important to learn to understand your feelings.

Blaming each other

Many a times, men think that women are encroaching too much by grazing some emotional aspect. Though the woman might be trying to make them comfortable, it could be misinterpreted! This could result in the two individuals blaming each other.

Being compassionate

Expressing compassion resolves a great deal of miscommunication. At time it becomes imperative for men to shed their rationalistic thinking and get into the shoes of a woman! That mean. They need to be more patient and lend an ear to their partner's maladies irrespective how trivial it may be.

Female perspective
A man is not as bad as you think!

The emotional communication of men differs from women as a result women need to realize that they might not get the same degree of intimacy from men when it comes to talking.

Let him boast

Women should take men boating about their success at workplace or other things in their stride. Women generally perceive boasting as a sign of egoistic male nature while in reality it might not be the case! That is why you should take this character trait as a matter of course.

Give him his space

Men always need more space, than women do. Women might find this to be dictatorial in nature. Women should remember that when a man interferes into your private space he is bound by his habit of exercising a certain degree of authority.

Money related issues
Money related issues crop up when there exist some form of imbalance between the two individuals. This could also be augmented by ego and lack of communication. Issues which go unnoticed acquire gargantuan stature once marriage happens. Some of the situations could be:

Difference in priorities

One's choice of a house could be negated with another's choice of a holiday

Possessiveness towards income

If the individuals become conscious of who is earning and how much then that could lead to ripples in the relationship. Prudence is good but understanding is more.

People Compatibility in a Relationship

Love at first sight, is what happen with most of the people in love relationships. Two of them meet somewhere , most often coincidently, eyes collide with each other, minds get hooked with a romantic desire, bodies becomes electrified and thrust to hold each other in a tight embrace. A love story; thus begun at the speed of an eye blink!

Gradually the relationship grows into a full bloomed romance and it is at this moment, when reality strikes fantasy and filmy ideas, many of them actually gets troubled with the thought that 'Am I really compatible with my special one?

Relationships are beautiful and at the same time complex for many reasons. Even the sweetest romantic relationships go complex when partners are not compatible enough to each other. When debating on compatibility there is a possible question that can arise from many of you, that if relationships are to be compatible why can't people go only for compatible relationships?

The best possible answer to this question is that relationships are most of the time just happened rather planned.

When it comes to love and romance it is sheer ecstasy that attracts most of them and there is little time left in between an eye stroke or a romantic bond to decide over the compatibility of both partners. If you are blessed with the perfect of lucks you may find the special one just made for you or else may end up in a relationship where you may struggle to be compatible with your partner that may lead to tragic breakups that shakes the strings of your mind.

When it comes to love and romance it is sheer ecstasy that attracts most of them and there is little time left in between an eye stroke or a romantic bond to decide over the compatibility of both partners.

Compatibility and incompatibility has their own roles in a relation. Relations are the agglutination of minds with the same wavelength of thoughts, likes, dislikes and mentality. People with differences can also make perfect pairs as more understanding and sharing needed in such relations to cover up the pits of differences. When thinking of compatibility consider your and your partner's education, career, money, cultural background, lifestyle, sexual preferences, family, friends, values, beliefs and personality etc... into the prime importance.

It is necessary to know how to find a compatible partner, or in other words how to know if you are compatible with the special one you found. When searching for a soul mate people wonder what the best ways to find a mate that you're compatible with, might be? Keeping an eye on few visible basics may help you to find a compatible mate.

You can never demand for a person with similar personality as yours. Personalities differ and never are totally alike. Different personalities can bring new kinds of strength and joy to each other. The essence of true relationship is in accepting and loving the other person with all the differences. When both the partners share similar personalities, it is easy for them to be close to heart as they have same comfort zones, mind frames and thinking pattern. Personality differences can never be told less compatible or more compatible as both similarities and dissimilarities are beneficial in relationships.

Paying attention to life goals is an effective way of knowing compatibility, as it is the life goals that mould a person. Make sure that you have similar ideas about the best places to live, what kind of jobs you want, and the way you want to live your lives. While taking a decision about your life consider the life in long run, not the immediate future. Similar interests sounds sensible when thinking about compatibility. If interests contrast it may drag people poles apart to each other.

When measuring your compatibility with your partner, it is your mindsets that is to be considered as the scale. Some may be concerned about social status, money, job etc.. But for some people it may be only the heartfelt love that matters. Remember the best way to find out whether you and your mate is compatible is to listen to your inner voice.

If your conscience says that both of you feel better at the presence of the other one, you are compatible enough. If you are loved to the extend of your wishes and if you are filled with love at the presence your your partner, you are compatible enough and of course made for each other.

Passion Disappear after Kids – why is that?

Once couples marry and have kids, many things change. A big one can be our perception of each other. Because perception easily becomes reality, we need to pay close attention to how we perceive our mate and how they perceive us. For a “wife,” transitioning to “girlfriend” to keep the romance candle burning may seem like work after a day of taking care of the house, the kids, the bills, the yard and lord knows what else.

Because your expressed concern is a dying intimacy, let’s focus on how this scenario could play out differently. It begins with the irony of male/female relationships – how come women have to feel loved to be intimate and men must have intimacy first to feel love?

This little conundrum often drives both genders to dig in their heels and wait for the other one to show some love first. For a woman to germinate the seed of intimacy, it may be as simple as the man helping with something, rubbing your feet or lending a caring ear before launching into his needs, which are fairly predictable.

To nurture a man’s intimacy, try a coy look, a compliment and something other than “I can’t take this anymore.” This will go a long way towards sustaining the thread of interest. Taking off your apron and putting on your teddy will remind him of your feminine side which was likely a big part of the original attraction.

Make the effort to shift your persona at the end of a long day and reignite his passion. Remember, intimacy benefits you both, so this isn’t just about him.

The Best Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive

Dealing with a low sex drive can be stressful for both you and your spouse, but there are many creative ways to get your sexual health back on track. Work with your spouse to say, goodbye to your low sex drive and hello to nights of restored passion and intimacy.

Enjoy a Little Rest and Relaxation

Take some time to enjoy each others' company by watching a television show or movie together. Select a book the two of you can read together, while cuddling in bed. Enjoy a relaxing bubble bath or take a dip in the pool. Share a walk around the neighborhood or plan a Sunday brunch at your favorite restaurant.

Share an Intimate Conversation

Share your feelings with your partner to strengthen your emotional connection. Women's bodies respond to the intimacy that sharing thoughts, ideas and goals bring partners. Discuss your fantasies or new ideas you are interested in trying in the bedroom. Be open and honest.

Enjoy a Romantic Dinner

Prepare your spouse's favorite meal, including dessert, and have a quiet night at home with no kids. Light some candles, dim the lights and play soft music in the background to set the mood for the evening. Or, make reservations at an upscale restaurant you've both been waiting to try. With no dishes to clean, you can come home and relax together for the rest of the night.

Buy Sexy Sleepwear

Surprise your spouse with a new night set from your local lingerie shop. Purchase a color or style you know he likes to see you wear. Try packing the new outfit in a gift box and presenting it to your spouse in the morning, with a sexy love note attached. He'll spend the day anticipating his evening with you.

Shop for Bedroom Toys

Take a trip to a local adult novelty store with your spouse to shop for new and exciting items you can use in the bedroom. From massage oils and lubricants to educational sex books, adult novelty shops offer a wide selection of items to fit the needs of their customers. Add some mystery and shop separately, then surprise each other with your purchases.

Plan a Vacation

Plan a trip that takes you and your partner away from the pressures of home and work. Whether you opt for a weekend trip to a local bed and breakfast or a weeklong visit to a tropical island, time away from home can help reignite the flame. Plan for couples' massages while you're away so that you can relax and get pampered.

Sex-Starved Spouse

I heard a joke the other day that goes something like this. A couple seeks marital therapy. The wife complains that her husband isn't interested in having sex. At some point in the middle of the session the therapist grabs the woman and kisses her passionately while she "oohs" and "aahs" with delight. The therapist then turns to the husband and says, "See, your wife needs this every Monday, Wednesday and Friday." The husband is quiet for a moment and then replies, "Monday and Wednesday will work, but I can't get her here on Friday. I've got a golf game."

This joke caught my attention because it had an unfamiliar ring to it- the husband didn’t want sex. We’re used to the standard jokes about desire-less women who prefer doing just about anything- cleaning out the freezer, paying bills or taking out the garbage- over having sex with their mates. But this was a new twist, a twist I might add, that has quite a bit of truth to it.

As someone who is in the front lines with couples, I have grown increasingly aware that women have no corner on the low libido market. In fact, based on my clinical observations and casual conversations with colleagues, I’d say that low desire in men is America’s best kept secret. After all, in a culture where virility is inextricably connected with masculinity, why would any man want to broadcast his drop in desire? Most of the data available on the incidence of low libido in men is based on self-report and estimates vary widely. Do we really know what goes on behind bedroom doors? I don’t think so.

Although it isn’t hard core research by any stretch of the imagination, I teamed up with Redbook Magazine to survey women about their views on their husbands’ sexual appetites. We found some interesting results. I will mention just a few.

Sixty percent of the women surveyed said they wanted sex just as much, if not more, than their husbands. The majority of low desire men are unwilling to discuss this issue with their wives and resist seeking help from doctors or therapists. They also won’t talk to their buddies about it.

Men’s unwillingness to openly discuss this matter leaves women feeling exasperated, lonely and hopeless.

Another interesting point is that the person with lower sexual desire controls the frequency of sex. He has the veto power. Not only that, he expects his wife to accept it, not complain about it and to remain monogamous, an expectation that is bound to backfire over time. The survey also suggested that there is less sex in marriages when the husband has low desire than in marriages where women are the ones who say, “No”. That’s because, in our culture, men are expected to be the initiators and when it is the wife who initiates but gets turned down frequently, she is more likely to give up than her male counterpart.

Another myth-buster revealed by the survey was what women said were the causes for their husbands’ lack of desire. Contrary to popular belief that the only reason a man would turn down sex is because “his machinery isn’t working properly,” or their wives are extremely unattractive, this just isn’t so. Men, it seems, turn off to sex for many of the same reasons that their wives do- emotional disconnection, underlying resentment or unresolved problems, depression, stress and so on. In fact, one of the most common reasons men reject their wives’ advances is that they feel their wives are critical or bossy. Nagging simply isn’t an aphrodisiac.

The problem is, which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Are men turned off to being sexual because their wives complain, or do women complain and behave angrily because their husbands are physically and emotionally withdrawn?

Ah yes, the infamous Catch-22. And therein lies the problem. When there is a sexual divide, each spouse waits for the other to change. “If you are nice to me, then I’ll have sex with you,” or “When you have sex with me, I’ll be kinder to you.” You don’t need a degree in psychology to know that this sort of standoff is playing with fire. Stalemates make marriages go down the tubes.

And before I get nasty comments or emails about the fact that there are millions and millions of men who go to bed lonely,…. I know, I know. I have written extensively on this subject. For the record, I routinely encourage women who have little or no understanding about their husbands’ sexual needs to place more priority on their physical relationships. But now it’s time to nudge who have shut down and turned off, to climb out of their comfort zone and reconnect with the women they love.

Myths about Masturbation

The history of masturbation contains many bizarre and hard to belief moments of misinformation. Whether it causes blindness, insanity, acne, or hair growth, masturbation has been both the most reviled and most commonly practiced sexual behavior on the planet. To this day many of us are raised believing certain myths about masturbation. If you’re still trying to separate fact and fiction consider these common myths and the facts that debunk them.
Masturbation Is For the Young
In fact, masturbation is a life long sexual activity. Surveys regularly show that anywhere from 70 to 95% of adult men and women masturbate. And while this may slow down as we age, many of us continue masturbating into our golden years. One survey of 800 adults over 60 found that that 46% of them masturbated, another found that 20% of seniors masturbated once a week or more. Masturbation isn’t just for the young, nor is it an “immature” form of sexual behavior.
Masturbation Isn't "Real Sex"
When you masturbate you can get aroused, which can result in orgasms. In North America, we put values on different sexual behaviors, but this has no basis in science. From a health perspective, masturbation is as “real” a sexual behavior as intercourse, oral sex, or kissing. And research shows that people in relationships masturbate, which contradicts the myth that masturbation is only for loners.
Masturbation Is Bad For Your Health
This myth originated with an anti-masturbation tract that was written in 1712 as a way to sell a bogus “tonic” that was supposed to stop the disease of “self-pollution”. Through the years there have been many colorful attempts to pathologize masturbation. They say it will make you go blind, it will give you acne, and it will grow hair on your palms. All claims that have been refuted by science. Today virtually all physicians and scholars agree that masturbation is harmless.

Men Have to Masturbate, Women Don't
While most statistics show that men do masturbate more than women, there is no evidence to suggest this is due to some biological “need” on the part of men to masturbate. What is true is that social attitudes toward female masturbation are much more negative, and this likely impacts both women’s early masturbation and their willingness to report masturbating in a survey. There is no research to suggest that the desire to masturbate is tied to biological sex or even gender.

People In Relationships Don't Masturbate
This common myth often drives people in relationships to masturbate in private hiding it from their partners. Survey research shows that people of all ages masturbate when they are in relationships. Kinsey’s survey found that almost 40% of men and 30% of women in relationships masturbated. A study of Playboy readers found that 72% of married men masturbated, and a study of Redbook readers found that 68% of married women masturbated.

Too Much Masturbation Is Bad For You
With very rare exceptions, frequent masturbation is not harmful. If an individual is compulsively masturbating or is unable to engage in any sexual behavior other than masturbation, it is possible that there may be reason to consult a mental health professional. But masturbating, whether it is once a month, or three times a day, if it is part of a balanced sexual and social life, poses no specific risks.

Only Certain Kinds of People Masturbate
Survey research debunks this myth that only certain people masturbate. Whether you are 19 or 99, religious and conservative or secular and liberal, whether you are a parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt, whether you get around on your own two legs or use a wheelchair, scooter, crutches, or roller-skates to get around, almost everyone has masturbated at some point in their lives, and most of us continue to do so.

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship.

If there is laughter present you can assume that the relationship is a healthy one.

When the laughter ceases you can be quite certain that the relationship is on the down slide.

This laughter barometer can be applied to any relationship at home, at work & at play. Laughter means that you’re having fun & fun means that things are going well.. Take a look at the relationships around you.

Do the couples laugh a lot together? Has the laughter stopped in some of your relationships ?

Here are a few ideas you can use to make certain that laughter remains an ever present reality in your relationships thus ensuring their quality & endurance. Remember introducing humor to previously humorless relationships might take time but the results will be worth the effort.

Start slowly by working on your own fun loving, cheery disposition. Laughter & humor are contagious so it won’t be long before others catch the bug.

* Remember that a sense of humor is learned, not inherited.

* Commit to becoming a humor hound. Look for humor everywhere. When something strikes you funny enjoy it. Let the laughter flow. After the funny event has passed recall it & enjoy it & laugh again.

* Begin to cultivate an atmosphere of humor & laughter in your relationships. Try to enjoy & share humor as often as you can.

* If you don ’t laugh as much as you used to & want to correct the situation start associating with humorous, fun loving people & avoid the downers.

* Learn to laugh at yourself. If you don’t, you leave the job to others.

* Look for funny items in your newspaper & cut them out & share them. I recall reading the want ads one night & discovered this gem : “ The successful applicant should have 203 years experience.”

Obviously the writer meant to say 2 or 3 years experience. I immediately cut it out & placed it in my collection for future use.

* Encourage others to share their humor. Listen & appreciate it when they do. When someone sees that you have enjoyed their humorous contribution they will be eager to continue sharing.

* In my full day humor workshops I always ask the participants to break up into groups & begin sharing the funniest thing that has ever happened to them.

The laughter that this simple activity generates is a joy to behold. Try this will your friends sometime.

* Collect cartoons & jokes & put them on display on the fridge or the bulletin board. Make sure to avoid racist, sexist or filthy humor.

The is plenty of good clean humor to go around without resorting to these. Remember that there is a difference between dirty & earthy humor. I personally like earthy humor. I don’t appreciate dirty material.

* Watch comedy movies and television programs as often a possible.

* Use humor to neutralize conflict in your relationships. When things get tense use self deprecating humor to lighten things up. I remember one evening having an argument with my wife, Carol. In the heat of the moment she said something totally out of character.

She said something hurtful. In my surprise I looked at her and said, “ Carol, when you say things like that you stoop to my level.” She started to laugh and so did I. It wasn’t long before things were back to normal.

Great Romantic Vacation Ideas

Vacation is the perfect time for you to reconnect with your mate and rediscover the love you share for each other, and planning is key to making sure that happens. Consider what you and your mate enjoy, and research opportunities online or through a travel agent. You'll also need to consider your budget and what you'd like to spend. The options are endless when it comes to romantic vacations, and you'll want to plan a trip that ensures you and your mate get the most during your time away from the rest of the world.

Cruises
1. Sail off into the sunset with your mate on a luxury cruise. If you and your mate want to enjoy sun and fun on an island, take a Caribbean cruise. If you'd rather enjoy nature and scenery, an Alaskan cruise could be the trip for you. Either way, the ship will provide plenty of recreational activities during your time at sea. At night, you can enjoy intimate romantic dinners, dance the night away in the ship's disco or enjoy a quiet, moonlit walk on deck. You'll also stop at several ports, where you'll have the opportunity to find special spots off the beaten path and share once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Look for an all-adults cruise to ensure your romantic journey isn't interrupted by screaming children.

Bed-and-Breakfasts
2. If you're looking for a place to relax, reconnect and enjoy quiet time alone, a bed-and-breakfast could be just the spot for you. Leave your cell phones and laptops at home for this quiet getaway. Spend your days eating breakfast on a quiet porch or exploring the town or city. Enjoy a glass of wine together in the evening, then snuggle up under a blanket by the fireplace and get to know each other all over again. If you're looking for a little fun, grab a movie or board game from the bed-and-breakfast's library. You may even want to ask another couple staying at the inn to join you.

Amusement parks
3. While some equate amusement parks with children, there is plenty of fun to be had by adults as well. If you and your mate are young at heart, you'll love the thrill of the park's biggest rollercoaster. The fear of that death-defying drop is a sure way to get closer to your mate. For a little quiet time, jump on the merry-go-round. Take a gamble on the carnival games. Top the day off on the ferris wheel for a breathtaking view. Forget a gourmet dinner. Fill up on hot dogs and cotton candy. Through it all, you'll laugh together and enjoy some old-fashioned, carefree fun.